I went to Nashville in February to attend an industry seminar. The seminar was great and I learned a lot, but the thing about this trip that I will never forget was my first night in town.
I got settled into my hotel, took a walk around the tourist areas, visited Hatch Show Print (and geeked-out over the letterpress goodness), had some dinner and was winding down for the evening. No sooner had I changed into a t-shirt and sweats when alarms went off all over the hotel. I have stayed in a lot of hotels all over the country for the last 15 years and never have I had alarms and sirens blasting throughout the building. It freaked me out.
Then, a voice boomed throughout the hotel informing us that the city was getting hit with tornados and that we should be clothed and in good shoes for evacuation.
What?!
Sorry, bro, but did you say tornados? I am down with snow storms, wind storms, ice storms, flooding, power outages, bush fires, swarming bees and even the odd drought. But tornados?
I had no idea what one is supposed to do. I figured I was supposed to head for the basement, but I was on the 6th floor of a massive hotel and did not even know if there was a basement.
So, I did what any sane and logical person would do. I threw on my street clothes and headed outside to check it out.
There were about 5 or 6 of us standing in the wind and rain out in front of the hotel. All of us were men, I might add, which either proves the bravery of our gender or the complete and utter stupidity (so often satirized in contemporary television ads).
Anyway, it was nuts. The skies were dark with an unnaturally low blanket of clouds that raced overhead. There were violent flashes of lightning all around and the wind howled. It was both terrifying and exciting at the same time.
Eventually, a bank of green clouds rolled-in and one started to form a cone. At that moment the winds picked-up velocity and became dangerous. Immediately all of us darted for the doors to get back into the hotel. The twister did not form, however, and after a few minutes a couple guys needing a smoke went back out. I decided that I had gotten my fill and returned to my room.
What did I do once back to my room? Pray? Call my wife and tell her I love her and things don't look too good? Write it all down in my journal in case I got wiped out?
No. Of course not.
I turned on the tube and watched MTV's Hogan Knows Best. It's a 'reality' show about wrestling icon, Hulk Hogan, and his dysfunctional family and how they struggle through life all following the leadership and guidance of the aging Hulkster. That is how I spent my potential last night on earth. Shameful, I know.
Later, around 12:30 AM, as I was sound asleep, the sirens and alarms went off again. We had to get dressed and get ready to evacuate as another cell was working its way through our area. I threw on my t-shirt and sweats and lie back down. I knew my life was in order and I had a great insurance policy. So, I rolled over and promptly fell asleep.
