mike gastin

So. How does one go about starting a church? I don't mean starting a new religion. I know how to do that. I mean a church - a local fellowship of people that come together to worship Christ. How does one do that? Where does one start? Rent a hall, send out flyers and knock on doors? Hire a billboard?

It seems a bit elusive to me.

I've started businesses. I've started a family. I've even started a fight or two. But a church? I have no idea how you do that.

You may be wondering why I am even asking this.

I am not trained to be a minister. I don't have a seminary education. I have not been ordained by any denomination. I can't read Greek or Hebrew. I'm not even confident that I am the best public speaker in the world. I have a bad attitude lots of the time, I drink a little alcohol, smoke the odd cigar and generally don't like hanging out with church people.

So, even I have wondered why I want to know how to start a church.

But, here's the thing. Jesus is amazing to me. Just amazing. And the way he lived his life on earth and the things he taught have imposed on me a vision of how my life should be. I am being transformed. And I have a vision of his kingdom that I can't get away from. I feel compelled to live it out.

Feeling compelled to live out the Kingdom of Heaven is not a reason to start a church. In fact, it is a great reason to *join* a church and get with others who are trying to live it out. Right?

I wish it were that easy.

I can't find a place to live it out. I can't find a group of people who share my vision or my world view. There are a lot of great christians out there and a lot of fine churches. I am having trouble finding one that is focused on the kingdom and apply it in a way that is in integrity with my vision.

I know, there is a lot of "my" in the statements above and it is not all about me. It is about God. Yeah. OK. But, at the end of the day, I have to answer to God. I don't get to point at you and say, "but they told me it was OK" or "I was just doing what the group thought we should do!" Something tells me if that is your argument you get the old, "Depart from me I never knew you" and I did not come this far to hear that!

I am a starter. I am a developer and a builder. I am not a great employee, but I love running a business. I am not a great follower, but I love to lead. I was not a great son as a kid, but I love being a father.

I don't know how else to get at the burden on my heart and to realize the vision I have without making it a reality--without starting something.

So, how does one go about it?

You ever see a movie or read a book about some fascist dictator or twisted leader who does evil things all in the name of some greater good?

You know what I am talking about. The guy is faced with some real challenge in the begining and the options for resolution are heart wrenching and include some group of people being displaced/enslaved/taking a hard one for the greater good of the nation. Of course, at first, he is torn over the whole thing. But eventually he does what he has to. Distasteful as it is, he gets the job done.

Well, its like eating a potato chip. You can never eat just one and the next thing you know, this guy is gorging on blood, wiping-out whole people groups and has become evil incarnate - a twisted mockery of all that is noble and good in mankind. And, to add insult to injury, he continues to justify his crimes against humanity by claiming they are for the greater good and that only he is brave enough to face this reality and make it happen. In fact, he has become the great architect of society.

Here's the deal. I am a small business owner. Last time I checked I do not have a small country in my charge. But, sometimes I feel like that guy because in business you have to make tough decisions. Decisions that are distasteful and that significantly effect other people's lives.

Fortunately, small business owners don't decide on someone's ultimate fate - live or die. But, we do hire and fire. And that is the problem.

Letting someone go is terrible. It is heart wrenching. You know you are hurting someone for the short term and very possibly for the long term. But, you have to do it for the greater good of your company and your other employees.

But, you start to wonder. Am I simply justifying an ugly deed? Am I losing my sensitivity to others? Am I framing my challenges in material and financial terms only? Am I doing the right thing? Am I guilty before God of hurting my fellow man? Is there some other way to solve this problem that is not tough on this person?

Am I wrong?

Am I a bad person?

No one can answer those last two questions for you. You can talk to friends, family, other employees, other business owners and even a priest and they can all offer some perspective. No matter what they say, those two questions don't get resolved. Am I wrong? Am I a bad person?

Dear God, please show me what is right and don't let me become a bad person.

That is all you have. A plea. And faith that He answers.